So lately I’ve been feeling kinda down about our money situation. I have thought for a while now that we don’t have enough money to cover our bills. My husband and I work 40 hours a week between raising 5 kids and traveling 6+ hours daily to/from work and school. Bottom line: we are beyond exhausted. We don’t live the extravagant life. I get that a lot of money coaches preach living below your means. And honestly, I don’t know anyone in my circle who lives beyond their means. Most of the people I know live a pretty modest life.
My favorite advice from these money/health coaches is that instead of eating out, meal plan/prep! Cook at home. It will save you dollars and you know you’re eating healthy.
Deep breath. B$$%#, I get it. But if you spend 18 hours on the road, do you really think I’d want to cook when I get home? Hell NO. What I wanna do is change my clothes, put the kids to sleep, and pass the f* out on the floor, couch, bed, or wherever my body decides to be done for the night. And then they tell you to get a slow cooker. And I’m thinking…Do I really wanna wake up one hour before 3:30 AM (that means 2:30 AM) and start prepping dinner? After coming home at 9 PM the night before and going to bed at 11 PM? And if I do, say, because I wanna be zombie mom of the year, do I really wanna do the dishes or load the dishwasher after everything’s said and done. So excuse me, coach, tonight, it’s a McDonald’s dinner. Tomorrow, it’s going to be The Habit. The day after tomorrow, it’s Chipotle night. (By the way, for you on-the-go moms, I will have a list of healthy snacks and fast food restaurants you can check out so you can still eat healthy. I promise McDonald’s is not on there!)
Okay, I digress. I just went on a tangent. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I know financially, we are okay, like 6/10, because the week before payday, we are already in overdraft mode. Although I would love to be on an 8 or 9/10. And yes, bills are paid. We have some savings. Payday always makes up for the overdraft, so the week after payday is all overdrafted again. We have some savings, like I say. Credit card bills are getting paid; some balances are going down consistently, while others go up consistently…as well. And we are OK. I know we are OK. But I still have this fear of drowning in debt and bills. For someone with some serious anxiety issues, I always fear the worst. That we will be out on the streets in no time.
And this is where the mindset is crucial. We have a full-time job. We know we get paid every 2 weeks. We believe that we live a comfortable life. But the problem is sometimes, I don’t believe it will last.
So I asked a friend of mine, Taga, who happens to be a money coach (not the typical money coach I described earlier) and a nonjudgmental one. I know because she runs a weekly group which I’m a part of. This is what she says:
Scarcity lies deep in the unconscious. This means the money script that we don’t have enough will trigger a trauma response of survival. So, healing si my go to because it’s in the ‘perception’ of scarcity that is the real challenge. I start with journaling…
Taga Lose
She shared these three simple questions to ask yourself when you are feeling scarce, which of course I want to share with you.
- What does enough mean for me?
- What does it look like?
- What does it feel like?
We need to know our own version of enough, otherwise we would be copying other people’s versions of enough and guess what happens? There will never be enough.
So, if you ever feel generally anxious or fearful that you don’t have enough, and maybe looking at your bank account, it may or may not be true for you. I want you to close your eyes and take a deep breath, bring out your journal and pen and start asking yourself these three questions. What does enough mean for me? What does it look like? What does it feel like?
My hope is that you find clarity on the financial wellness you want to achieve.
XOXO,
Wella
P.S. If you want to know more about my friend Taga, you can find her work here:
Rediscovering Wellness 
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